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Archive for the ‘changes’ Category

1

Today was the day. It was time to let my seashell friends and stones go back home. They’ve been gracing my windowsills nearly a year, coming to stay a few at a time over time. The spiders and dust motes made them sneeze. So in the spirit of Solstice next Tuesday, it seemed the right day to let High Tide give them a go.

So off to Point Robinson, north of the lighthouse.

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Out of the basket, landing in the sand with happy chirps.

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Ah, what a beautiful crew. I’m going to miss them.

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They jumped onto the just-right-size driftwood to take in the view, get their bearings.

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Then we sang songs. I wish you could have heard them harmonizing.

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When it was time for me to say farewell, one little green stone asked to go back in my pocket. I said yes, of course, yes.

I must admit, the basket wasn’t empty when I left the beach. New stones had invited themselves for summer vacation. But that’s another story.

     Enjoy the whole movie story with music:  

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Before I could welcome the New Year
I had goodbyes to say
and thank yous to pray,
and rare sunshine showed up to take notice.

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Goodbye was due to my old friend Doug Fir,
whose last wish was I dance on his growth rings.
His rings tallied up drought and the raining disasters
that helped him grow tall and yet taller.

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Before my goodbyes my knees buckled and bent.
Long skinny shadows suggested forgiveness I seek
for too many days through too many years
tucked under a desk, life ignoring.

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As penance and promise when I welcome the New Year,
I will measure the width of your growth rings, Doug Fir.
I will witness your years with the breadth of a hug
that tugs my heart wide, wide, wide open.

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Take a deep breath now, I said to myself,
and I shifted my sorrow to solace.
Will you dance with me now, Mr. New Year? I asked.
Will you honor my friend
who is gone?

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Yes I will.
Who will lead?

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We’ll take turns.
You go first.
Spring leads.
Summer follows.

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But it’s winter.

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As I welcome the New Year
I will dance in the darkness
deep down in my heart
I will welcome the shade
and the cold.

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Then let’s dance in the sunlight
that shines on us now
even though the air
is still frosty.

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Bring me lightDSC_0901

Bring me joy
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Bring friendship
DSC_0899Bring blue sky

Help me ring in the New Year with gladness.

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Make me silly
Make me strong
Make me giddy

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Make me wrong
to sit too long at my desk without playing.

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Help me laugh

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Help me sing
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Help me flap my strong wingsDSC_0979

Help me land on my feet DSC_0950

Please stand with me each day,
Mr. New Year.

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May I count my own growth rings
this year as I change.

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May I remember to bow
and say thank you.

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May I take time to dance
and play with my friends.

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And sing wondrous songs with my soul.*

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Thanks for dancing with me, Mr. New Year!
~ You’re welcome! ~

*Big thanks to my friend Alan Claassen for permission to put his wondrous song in this video:

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00 -finding pinecones-

Two Sunday mornings ago when the rain finally stopped, I ventured outside. Fallen branches greeted me, a bit embarrassed to be on the grass.

That’s because three Tuesdays ago a fierce Westerly Wind roared over the water, ripped past our town, raged up the hill, right through and around MacMurtree the tree. Try as Mac might to be flexible, the Wind won the wrestle, ripping off branches that crashed to the ground.

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And nearby those branches, all over the yard, I found pinecones. Knocked loose from their limbs, still tightly coiled and sealed in sweet sap.

I felt sorrow to see them sprawled on the lawn because I remember last summer, how I sat on my picnic blanket, witnessing dainty gold-dusted fairy seeds fluttering free.

I herded the pinecones into a pile. They didn’t know what to do next, stunned anxious at their unexpected separation.

“How are we supposed to seed forests?” they cried, rolling around on the ground in dismay. “We’re supposed to stay on our limbs and open up slowly. We’re not ready for this!!”

“I don’t know,” I replied, feeling their angst.“Come up on the porch. Come sit with me and we’ll figure it out.”

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While they gathered themselves and their thoughts, I ran inside and brought back a book. I thought they could use some encouraging words.

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“I know you’re not where you thought you should be. That means your Plans must become entirely new. You’re gonna need Courage for that!”

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The pinecones lined up to listen, and we all wondered what words might spill forth from the pages to bolster their spirits.

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I fluttered pages at random to see what the old book hoped these friends might find out. A bird pulled up a fencepost to listen.

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“Give us, O give us, the person who sings at her work. I found words by Thomas Carlyle. One is scarcely sensible of fatigue whilst marching to music.”

The bird whistled Yes!

“What song might you hear in your heart?” I asked the pinecones.

“Lollipop, lollipop!” one pinecone piped up after the briefest of pause.

“We are the Champions my friends” sang another with lyrics.

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After the singing slowed down I read further down on the page.

“No pinecone is born into this world, whose work is not born with her.

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“Like the tree seeds within me!” said this pinecone who then sat up straighter.

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I sat up straighter, too, realizing that Book’s favorite words in her pages weren’t all that these pinecones needed to know.

“Do any of you remember the wonder of where you come from?” I asked the dear lovely tree seeds.

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“We come from our mother, MacMurtree, a Deodar Cedar. She’s at least a century old, probably more,” said the eldest pinecone.

“We each belong to the Deodar family. In Sanskrit that’s devadāru, which means wood of the Gods.”

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“Why that means me! Daughter of the tree gods. Oh my! I better get up!” this one said out loud to herself.

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“Imagine the many trees waiting inside us!” said that one out loud.“There must be a way to get our Possibilities into the world.”

“I have an idea,” I said.“I have friends all over the planet. What if I put you each in a box and ask the Mail to take you someplace new? That will be like the Wind carrying your seeds, except this time you get to go along and see where they land. You’ll meet the most amazing people!”

“You can ask them to bring me inside where it’s warm,” said one pinecone.

“And put me on a table by a window so I can see where I am,” said another.

“I would enjoy spending the holidays with a family,” added that one.

“And,” I said,“as their fireplaces heat up their homes, your wings will unwind. And your fairy seeds will unfold from inside. Just like they would have next summer if you had stayed here.”

Their excitement was mounting as plans started to form.

“And perhaps, just perhaps,” I suggested, “they will know a good place with soil and sunshine and some magic. And on some sunny day, when a soft breeze is blowing, they’ll toss your seeds into the air and away they will float, just as they should. Just as they would have, but somewhere exotic and fun. It’s a bit avante garde, I suppose.

“How about it?”

Well, it took us a week to figure it out. We gathered up boxes. I found my address book. And seven brave pinecones volunteered for adventure.

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Into boxes they jumped. Tucked in with some branches. And a note with instructions.  P.S. Watch out for the sap, we said.

Not everyone wanted to travel. And that is just fine. One for sure is staying with me. Another one asked to be strapped by the birdhouse so she can try spreading her wings in the spring.

And this group, well they’re having fun talking. So they’re hanging out on the porch for a little while longer. They don’t mind the rain.

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Check your mailbox!!

Here’s the wordless musical version:

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Ever had a day like this?Have you ever had a day like this?
Feeling gray sky, low tide and garbled?
Lacking direction?
Sans focus?

On days like thisOn days like this
I go to the coast
where the fresh water
flows into the saltwater sea.
I try to hydrate my head and my heart.

I breath in

I breathe in.
I breathe up.
I breathe out.

I stand on firm ground,
albeit shifting.

I stretch to the sky

I reach in.
I reach up.
I reach out.

I arrive.

and I have a heart to heart

And I have a heart to heart
talk with myself, who says
I…BELIEVE…in YOU!
You’re on the right track.

I wait for direction

I let my Self point which way to go next.
“Here, go with the flow,
Go join the whole”

Seriously, this way

Seriously, THAT way!
You’re not a salmon.
You can’t swim upstream.
You must go toward the ocean.

Get the green arrow

My soul could feel my self hesitation.
She put on her seashell amulet bracelet
as if pushing up sleeves.
She pulled out the green arrow,
The unmistakable way-pointing sign.

the unmistakable sign

I gazed at the arrow so long and so hard.
I wanted to trust its clear sense of direction.
But it wasn’t quite speaking my language.

And the arrow turned into my heart

My soul had a better idea.
She turned that green arrow into my heart.
The even more unmistakable way-pointing sign.

It pointed the way once again

And my soul pointed the way once again.
This time I heard not only her voice
but my heart as it beat in agreement
Finally understanding the path.

My heart said yes.

We breathed in
We breathed out
We jumped in
to the flow of fresh water.

i entered the flow

Who knows how long it will take to
make it down river,
How many high and low tides.
But I’m determined to go with the flow
toward the big picture ocean.

Call it underwater clarity.

I’m all in.

I know I'll arrive.

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I found a tiny pink seashell

It was half-past high tide and love at first sight
when the tiny pink seashell
caught my heart from her spot on the sand.

She paused in her talk with the shell-shard and seaweed
to blow me a kiss of hello.

Pleased to meet you

“Oh, hello! Pleased to meet you,” I said
as I sat down and scooped her up in my palm.
“I’ve never seen anyone like you before in this cove.”

“That’s cuz I’m new here,” she replied.
“Can you show me around?”

We went down to the driftwood

We walked up the beach
and I showed her some sights
she’d never seen from the height of my hand.
At the Driftwood Plateau we met a lone plant
who had grown in the sea-tossed-up soil.
“Seashell, meet Dandelion.
Dandelion, Seashell.”

Seashell, meet Dandelion.

“I thought dandelions were bright yellow with petals?”
Seashell asked with a pure questioning heart.
“I am still a yellow dandelion,” said the flower,
“But my yellow has transformed into seeds.
What you see now are my daughter ideas
almost ready to spread.”

“Is it true I can blow on your face
to make my wishes come true?”
asked Seashell.

What you may not know
(Because I know I didn’t)

is that dandelions can make wishes, too,
by blowing into the face of pink seashells.

Who's making the wish?

Each blew hard as they could
to send their wish flying.
Seashell did a backflip.
Dandelion launched seeds.

Shell's wish to stay

“Ha! Now my wish can come true,”
laughed the shell when she landed.
“I’m hoping a wave will arise
and sweep me back to the sea. That’s where I belong.”

Dandelion's wish comes true, too

Without a word Dandelion smiled,
Trusting her wish would come true.

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We've moved!

We’ve moved!

Is this mine, was my October question. This place with the blue door in the meadow. This cottage with the piano inside. This yard with swings in three trees.

It takes courage to say Yes to your life when it shows up with a gift without warning. Like love at first sight. Your mind can come up with a long list of reasons (and fears) to say No.

It’s too much. It sounds hard. I’m not ready.

Or you can open your mind by hearing the thoughts of your heart.

It’s what I always imagined…in detail. It feels like a gift. I’m singing silly songs I’m so happy. It feels like home and we’re not even there yet. I believe I can do this! I will trust in the process…and outcome…and future.

Then give it some time. Take some deep breaths. Accept the October invitation. Wait for the November answer.

Yes. Yes. Yes!

Uncross your fingers and slap a high five!

Pack your boxes and move! Unpack. Bake a turkey. Give thanks. Begin to get settled. Add a tree. Hang some lights. Do the dance of a happy December.

Then let the adventure begin!!

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